Fronzel.com

I like haunted houses. I don’t go because many are lame and don’t live up to their promise or are just basic Monster Jump out startles that make for cheap scares.

Anyway, we heard about the Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse at a party. I was dressed as Sheriff Rick Grimes in a pretty decent costume my wife made, and nobody at this nerd party recognized me. But it started a dialog about zombies and some suggested we go. It was outside the perimeter where nothing good ever happens, but we wanted to go to a haunted house, and we like zombies.

The webpage was great.

The event had people dressed armed guards patrolling the parking lot. We even saw an armed guard drag a girl at gunpoint off into the distance. Later, we thought we saw her in a scene, so I think she was just late. Either way, I think they should do that. Put ringers in the crowd and grab them.

We got wanded for weapons and were given a brief safety lecture before entering. The zombies are under control, but don’t touch them, don’t touch anything, stay on the path and you are under video surveillance at all times. We walked along past a guy in a hazard suit into a room. A man shows up and tells us that the CDD(Center for Disease Development.) has the zombie outbreak under control and this is to show us the truth behind the media distortions.

We entered an area that had fenced enclosures and zombies jumped out at us but were stopped by the fences. And we saw a mad scientist that had a zombie under control. His pet zombie lunged at us and “chased” us into the next room. Lame Haunted house stuff. This next room was a fenced in area with “members” from a previous tour that had been exposed to the zombie virus and realized the CDD was trying to turn us into zombies. One of them started to turn into a zombie. He lunged at us and a member of the army stormed in killed all the zombies and basically said “Come with me if you want to live”, that started our 20 minute run through hell.

The army guy ran with us shooting zombies and he got us to a door. He said to run up to the roof there is an extraction team up there. We ran into a group of CDD executives that realized things have just gotten real and they think we are interns. They hand us paper work and tell us to start looking for information about Project Indigo. Until they realize we aren’t with the CDD and they kill themselves. Another CDD employee runs up and says how crazy this situation is and we should follow him to safety. A few members of the group remember the army guy said to not listen to any CDD employees. They try to stay behind, but the idea of being left alone was a far worse prospect. Our new guide takes us down a hall into another room and he leaps out and says “GET EM!” as two zombies come barging through the walls. As they menace us, more army guys show up and shoot them. They guide us through a few more zombie infested places.

After a while of running and ducking from zombies as the army guys are shooting everything around us, we get to one room where a school bus has crashed through the wall. We are told to go through the bus, through the survivor camp and meet with the rescue team. As we are making it though the bus, a zombie leaps at Margo. She shuts down and sits in a seat and won’t budge. I literally drag her up and out of the bus.

She is good and freaked out at this point. Her head is almost spinning around at every noise real and imagined. Which are quite a lot because you can hear gun shots and screams from the other groups. This also encourages the actors now that they have found the weak ones of the herd. One of the survivors with a gas mask keeps walking around and sniffing her as he sharpens his knives. She is steadfastly ignoring him, I keep pointing him out and saying she should say hi. Another survivor keeps hitting on her. One shoots a zombie in the head and his head sprays fluid out. Pretty awesome.

Eventually the army guys show up again and escort us at a run through this office complex filled with zombies. Margo keeps looking behind us prompting our rear guard to say keep your eyes forward and say something if you see something. Since I’m now running and pushing Margo through this and I’m a jerk I’m yelling “SEE SOMETHING!” Almost every step and calling her “Zombie Food”. Mostly because I was seeing Zombies lunge at us. Eventually, our guards get overrun and just scream “RUN!” we charge down this obstacle course of office furniture and zombies until we come barreling out of door and into the parking it. Tour over. And I didn’t feel cheated. I felt relieved to have made it out.

It was insane. We ran through hallways, up stairs, down stairs, through a school bus, across a parking lot and through rooms and offices. The whole time being lunged at by zombies, hearing gun fights and screams and trying not to get nommed on.

You could pay extra for a Zombie Shooting Range, but it was just zombies and you shot them with paintballs. Target practice zombies. I wasn’t too interested in that. I’d be interested in a Zombie Safari, but Zombie Target practice doesn’t appeal to me.